The trauma associated with divorce is typically strongest with feelings of failure by the parties, child custody decisions and property settlement issues. While this is not exactly breaking news for those who have been through the experience, people should understand that reasonableness is a critical component of minimizing the disappointment and trauma of divorce.

Whether you live in Virginia Beach, Virginia or Los Angeles, California, you will face these challenges should you file a divorce petition. Often, the necessary property settlement agreement, the least "psychological" of the three primary areas, poses the greatest challenge to resolve. In community property states, such as California, these settlements can become even more contentious.

Being reasonable, however, can minimize disagreements that often prolong and complicate the divorce process. Those partners who adopt an attitude of "hiding" their assets or commit to "taking the other spouse for everything they have," are not being reasonable and often accelerate the trauma. All property settlements will be negotiated between the divorcing parties or the court will mandate the terms, which often disappoints both parties.

The recent well-publicized divorce of an NBA superstar and his wife is a shining example (so far) of reasonableness. With no prenuptial agreement, the spouses still have apparently agreed on a property settlement resolution out of court. While their negotiations may have privately been overly contentious, they decided on reasonableness to achieve agreement.

When both parties commit to being reasonable, their legal representatives can formalize settlement agreements without succumbing to "he wants/she wants" disagreements. This reasonable approach helps the divorcing parties remain civil and reduces the ingrained trauma of the proceedings. While calling this a true "win-win" resolution may be a bit of a stretch, reasonable parties can resolve this challenging issue rationally and satisfactorily.

Source: Huffington Post, "Kobe Bryant Divorce Settlement: Vanessa To Receive Three Homes?" Jan. 20, 2012